After having gotten off a very long phone call with my mom, I've realised something. I have intimacy issues. And there isn't even a hint of smile on my face as I'm typing this. I really think I do. Like, I get very uncomfortable when I get into physical contact with people. Even the ones I'm close to, even my family, especially my family. I withdraw. I just feel extremely uncomfortable that there is contact, and I would try to keep away to maintain my own space. At first, I thought th...

You know... After having gone through so much, I suddenly feel this dawning realization creep up upon me. I guess after every personal crisis I go through, I would think that that is the worst already, but it really isn't. There are so many more obstacles and delusions that fate and life are more than happy to hand me. Everytime something happens to me, I'd raise my hands in defeat and claim that there isn't anything else I can handle. Yet when life flings another curveball along my way, I...

I have various outlets for writing. One is a public outlet, where only the surface details of my happenings are revealed. 2nd, a locked journal, where only my closest friends are updated on what is really going on. And then there's here, where I'm allowed to express myself freely and without being judged. I try not to type like this in my other outlets. When I do type like this, I get judged. People say I'm trying too hard to sound impressive with great vocab. Truth is, I'm not trying ...

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us ... Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits ... No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves ... Your love makes me at once ...

The rain pours relentlessly outside, beating the windows furiously. It is almost 4am now, and sleep eludes me yet again. It is exceedingly frustrating how I am unable to resume my healthy sleeping habits. I yearn to sleep and wake up at normal hours, I yearn to have healthy and constant meals. I yearn to attend classes like everyone else does and revel in the short-lived laughter everyone indulges in daily. Add another 6 pills to my current 10. I now have 16 pills to take daily so that...

I am nineteen this year. I have only been in love once. I came close to falling in love the 2nd time, but lucky for me, I was hurt before it happened. I am nineteen. And I have already forgotten how it feels like to like someone and to be liked back. I have forgotten how does it feel to have a crush, to giggle and blush everytime he comes near. I have forgotten how it feels like to have your friends nudge you everytime he's in the area. I have forgotten how it feels like to obsess...