Published on April 20, 2009 By whatshesaid In Life

The rain pours relentlessly outside, beating the windows furiously.
It is almost 4am now, and sleep eludes me yet again.
It is exceedingly frustrating how I am unable to resume my healthy sleeping habits.
I yearn to sleep and wake up at normal hours, I yearn to have healthy and constant meals.
I yearn to attend classes like everyone else does and revel in the short-lived laughter everyone indulges in daily.

Add another 6 pills to my current 10.

I now have 16 pills to take daily so that I function like a normal human.
I loathe that I have become so weak. I loathe that I have become so dependant.
It is decidedly unjustifiable, who I have turned into now. Not to mention increasingly frustrating, every time I try.

10 more days till I round up this semester.

10 more days, with 3 subjects to study for, and 5 assignments on hand.
Is there something decidedly saintlike about me that everyone thinks this will be a breeze for me?

How is it that people forget that I'm merely human sometimes?
How is it that people forget that I'm just another girl,with her own wants and needs?
How is it that people forget that I too, come with limits and boundaries, and that if pushed too far, I'll break?

I am honestly losing my grip here.
I don't know if I can stay sane for the next day, what else the next 10 days.

I need something to live for.

 


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